“Get a hobby” isn’t really a convincing pitch for teens. So how can parents support teens in adopting healthy hobbies? These are our best therapist-approved tips.
Of the many things we witnessed early on in the COVID-19 pandemic, the crucial role of hobbies for promoting mental health was made even clearer.
During that time, many of us learned to bake bread, took up embroidery, or dusted off the guitar we swore we’d learn to play, and as a result, we not only survived — many of us emerged on the other side with a newfound passion.
According to teens and young adults who were surveyed in 2020, hobbies were ranked as the single most important mental health support they had during lockdown. Yes, even more than friends, social media, and even self-care practices.
As mental health professionals who work with teens, this doesn’t surprise us.
In our day programs for struggling teens, we focus on creating a distraction-free environment where teens can rediscover the role of hobbies in supporting their well-being.
In today’s world, where we rarely have the space for creativity and self-expression, this kind of play has become more important than ever. We’ve seen countless teens finally break away from the “infinite scroll,” and unlock their passion and joy by finding a hobby that lights them up.
But simply taking a teen’s phone away and instructing them to “get a hobby” rarely works — which is why, in this article, we’ll provide tips for parents who want to support their teen in finding a healthy hobby (or two!), without making it feel like a punishment.
1. Make connections to the media teens enjoy.
Parents can learn a lot about supporting teens by understanding a little of the research behind habit formation!
We are more likely to follow through and be consistent when a habit or behavior change is personally meaningful to us — so, it connects to a value we hold, an identity of ours, or something that we feel passionate or excited about.
With teens in particular, the media they enjoy is often a reflection of their values, identity, and passions. So it’s a natural entry point when we’re looking at supporting teens in adopting a new habit (which is what hobbies really are, when you distill them down).
For example:
- If your teen loves the Great British Bake Off show, you might see if they’re interested in taking a baking class.
- If they follow a lot of skincare influencers, maybe they’d like to learn how to make their own organic skincare products at home.
- If their favorite movie character is a detective, maybe your local community college has a forensic psychology class that could deepen their interest.
Remember, the hobby doesn’t have to replace or compete with their favorite media — it can simply expand how they engage with it in ways that promote critical thinking and emotional well-being (and maybe even incentivizes a little extra time away from screens!).
2. Look at your teen’s repeat purchases for opportunities to learn a new skill.
Similar to the tip above, your teen’s existing interests may lead to their next hobby — especially if they can learn or build on a relevant skill.
We already know that learning new skills can be a huge boost for mental and emotional well-being. Research shows that learning a new skill improves cognitive function and working memory, among other benefits.
But where do we begin if our teens don’t find these benefits compelling? You might consider their shopping history as a clue for what skills they may feel more drawn to.
For example:
- If they seem to buy more candles than they could ever burn, maybe learning to make their own could be enjoyable, as it allows them to customize the fragrance and ingredients to suit their preferences.
- If they’re always buying new decorations for their room, they might enjoy photography, pottery, sewing, DIY furniture rehab, or visual art to make the process more uniquely their own.
- If they feel the urge to replace their wardrobe every season, maybe a sewing class or learning how to dye or embroider fabric could lead to their next passion.
Yes, sometimes our teens want the quick boost and aren’t interested in learning the skill related to their purchases, so don’t be surprised if they scoff at the idea!
But for some teens, they haven’t yet made the connection that the items they impulsively buy could lead to their next hobby (or even a future career that they enjoy!).
3. Make it a team effort.
Many parents worry that their teen will simply give up on a hobby not long after starting it.
While this is pretty normal and not necessarily something to be concerned about, it can be frustrating if money is tight or if our teen has a tendency of abandoning something simply because it’s challenging, even if they might eventually enjoy it.
One way to increase the likelihood of a teen sticking with something is to ensure they don’t attempt it alone!
We know from research that people are more likely to access motivation, and move toward psychological growth, when they experience a sense of connection or relatedness. This can increase the likelihood that someone will try something new, and keep coming back to it.
While signing up for an in-person class can offer a structured way to try something new, not all teens are willing or able to engage in these types of learning environments, especially if they are socially anxious or need specific accommodations.
Instead, you might try:
- A subscription box related to a specific hobby that you try together
- An online course or free series on a video platform like YouTube
- Involving trusted peers, family members, or neighbors
- Getting private lessons from someone virtually or in-home
4. Consider working with technology, rather than against it.
A lot of parents tend to view technology like phones or laptops as a sworn nemesis, and in competition with the types of hobbies and skills we want our kids to try.
However, this isn’t always the case! Some teens are more likely to start a hobby if it’s connected to the devices they use every day, rather than having to put those devices away and shift out of their usual routine to incorporate it.
In fact, the science of habit formation tells us that reducing friction — so, removing as many preparation steps as possible, and sticking to familiar and accessible environments and routines — will greatly increase the odds of behavior change.
For example:
- Pick the digital version first: Rather than telling your teen to put their phone away with the hopes they’ll pick up a book, start with an audiobook subscription to make reading more approachable. (You might later offer to buy them a physical copy of any audiobook they’re enjoying, as listening and reading simultaneously — sometimes called immersion or immersive reading — can be more accessible and actually mimics how reading is taught in schools.)
- Combine physical hobbies with existing digital habits: If your teen spends a lot of time watching YouTube videos or listening to podcasts, introduce them to coloring books, crochet, or other activities they can passively engage with while enjoying their usual content. They’ll still reap some of the benefits of that hobby, and may shift to practicing the hobby without technology later on.
- Start with a related app: Many popular hobbies like yoga, meditation, pilates, painting, singing, and more have digital apps that make the hobby more enjoyable or easier to practice. You might consider paying for such an app if it makes the hobby itself more enticing for your teen.
- Look at content as inspiration: Many teens today look to content creators and influencers to find inspiration about hobbies or activities they might like to try. In fact, some creators have dedicated series to teaching people about their hobbies, like this video playlist about “cozy” hobbies by YouTuber “CozyK.”
Remember to follow your teen’s lead and ask them what barriers, if any, are standing in the way of them accessing a hobby they might otherwise enjoy!
5. Ensure they have enough time, space, and support to experiment.
Everything we’ve explored so far is pointless if your teen has such a demanding schedule or lack of support, they then don’t have what they need to play, experiment, and try something new.
Some parents mistakenly believe that if their teen’s schedule isn’t back-to-back every single day, their child has what they need to engage in a hobby, and therefore are lazy if they then opt for scrolling over a new hobby or skill.
However, if their life is especially stressful or hectic, if they’re neurodivergent and need more downtime to recover or struggle with motivation, and/or their freetime is often interrupted or cut short, it may not be enough to support their teen in adopting a new behavior, even if that behavior would be enjoyable and beneficial for them.
It helps to be curious and open, rather than judgmental, if you notice your teen is not drawn to the types of activities you assume would feel supportive.
You might try:
- Getting curious about how it feels: “I’ve noticed that you’ve been spending a lot of time scrolling on your phone. Does that feel good for you? Do you ever feel worse after, or wish you could be doing something else sometimes?”
- Sharing your own experience: “I’ve noticed that my phone has started to replace a lot of the hobbies I used to like. I’m trying to make a more intentional effort to get back into other activities. Do you relate at all? Are there any hobbies that you miss or wish you could start?”
- Being caring but direct: “Sometimes I worry that when you spend hours on your phone, you’re sort of checking out of your life instead of creating a life you want to live. Does that feel true for you? Is there any way I can help or be more supportive?”
Remember, this isn’t an all-or-nothing — our devices can certainly play a positive role in our lives, and not all apps or platforms are created equal.
The key is finding a balance that works for us and our families, and paying attention to how we feel when we use our devices, instead of following arbitrary rules that are rooted in shame or fear.
Remember: Hobbies aren’t meant to be bandaids for deeper struggles.
If you’ve noticed that your child’s mood, behaviors, and/or communication suggests they may be struggling, hobbies aren’t a substitute for mental health care — and your teen may need more than just an activity to keep them occupied.
At Evolve, we know that raising teens to become healthy adults takes a village, especially when teens struggle with things like depression, anxiety, ADHD, self-harm, and more.
We offer a spectrum of support for teens with varying support needs, including residential and day programs that help teens reestablish healthy routines and discover hobbies, as well as support groups, diagnostic assessments, therapy, and medication where appropriate.
Don’t know where to start? Speak with our admissions team for a free consultation today.